One Year Home

One year ago I could not wait for this day to come.  We knew within the first three months home that there were many challenges that could not be met apart from time.  I never imagined though that we would be where we are today.  Anna is fully integrated into our family.  She knows Natalie loves her no matter how much hair is pulled, that Tim is the go to bro for any request, that Elias is really fun.  She is secure and attached but still is fearful that when she says good-bye it may be the last time.  "More Natlee?  More LyeLye?  More Im?"  is always asked when they get on the bus in the AM.  She is brave and trusting and rests in our yes.  This repeats for grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  Poor baby.  Praying that the raw pain continues to be soothed.  That the still open wound becomes a scar.  Still, there is so much to be overjoyed about and grateful for.  So much.  Then - So many scary delays.  Flipping from back to belly required the degree of effort that she looked akin to a turtle trying to do the same, the thought of walking on the grass produced sheer panic, no ability to play or focus.  Now - Forward rolls, sit down/stand up on the trampoline, chasing butterflies in bare feet through the grass and gravel, books and a flashlight to bed, beautifully imaginative pretend play.  Then - Silence: She barely uttered a sound.  Apraxia was suggested by a total of four speech therapists.  Now - Constant chatter.  She is truly making up for the 2 1/2 years of silence.  Then - Rages, lick-n-stick (her unique self-soothing behavior), heavy grieving, starting the day in the middle of the night.  Now - Incredible affection, looking at new photos of Nai Nai and talking about the sad and hurt, awesome napper (12:30-4:30!!!).  

Matt is on his way to pick up Chinese take out to celebrate this big day.  We also spent the late morning and early afternoon at the Academy of Natural Sciences.  Went through the Butterfly exhibit three times (she is somewhat obsessed...).

Children of God

Officially Finished with Post-Op!

We had Anna's second post-op check today with her plastic surgeon.  While the fistula appears to be closed it is not completely as her palate is is still "dimpled" at the fistula location.  We are hopeful that it will be closed off enough that we can put off the repair until she has her bone graft done around age 7.  Our hope comes from Anna learning to and being able to suck as well as no more food coming out of her nose.  The surgeon said that further healing is going to do what it is going to do so she lifted the pureed/soft foods diet.  Whoo-hoo!!!  That little girl is understandably DONE with pureed and soft foods.  Since the repair I think she has consumed a gallon and a half of yoghurt.  Tonight at dinner she chowed down.  She ate everything.  Peppers, tomatoes, raw mushrooms, sausage...  Our next appointment is in 6 months and that will be a team visit (surgeon, ENT, speech, psychologist, social worker, and on and on).  Everyone and their brother is how our surgeon described it today.  

Speech therapy is going better.  The therapist spoke with a number of colleagues who have experience with cleft kids and did some more thinking and looking around at resources.  The textbook arrived too and while I have just started, it is giving me a lot of hope and direction.  Anna has started with the a and o sound as well as achieving some volume control with mama.  I think she is actually using her mouth rather than her throat to produce those sounds too.  

The REALLY big accomplishment though since surgery has been that Anna learned the basics of the chicken dance.  She showed her new moves off to the University of DE therapist the next day.     

THANK YOU to those of you who have prayed for the healing of the fistula and who have passed on thoughts regarding speech therapy!  I still want to thank some of you individually yet!

Three Weeks Post Palate Repair

On Monday we had an appointment with the plastic surgeon.  She was obviously irritated that a fistula had opened up.  I asked about the possibility of the 9 days of screaming and barely sleeping causing it and she said yes, absolutely theoretically that would be a possibility.  She also added to not go down the road of "what should we have done differently" because you just can't prevent them from happening.  She said she was surprised because there was nothing that happened during the surgery that made her think Anna's chances of developing a fistula were increased.  The good news...  She thought there was a 50/50 chance that it would close on its own.  So we are praying and asking you to do so as well.  While she may be learning to swallow without having food go up the fistula and into her nasal cavity, yesterday she had less food come out her nose and today she had ZERO.  Today I am also noticing a more nasal sounding voice which (while totally backwards - it should be less nasal after the repair) is what we noticed immediately after the repair and before the fistula opened up.  Its enough to up my hope that this could heal on its own.  However we can still see a hole.  We see the surgeon again next Monday.  We talked about what if it doesn't heal on its own and I really liked her approach.  It is a bit aggressive (involves another incision but this time behind her teeth) so she wants to wait and hear what Anna does with a few words first.  If air leaks up through her fistula she wants to repair.  Otherwise we will wait and repair it when she has the cleft through her gum repaired around age 7. 

So that means we have to hit speech hard and fast to know if she needs this repair or not.  On Wednesday though Anna's SLP (speech language pathologist) was pretty direct and told me that she doesn't know what else to do to get Anna's mouth moving and air blowing out.  What?!?  She said after that she can help but as of now it is up to us to get her to move her mouth on command and blow out air.  Anna is interested and tries and tries but she just can't.  We have some tips and tricks from the SLP and we are going with them as well as stumbling on some of our own.  

Back to Wednesday.  I spent the rest of the day getting the first available speech appointments at CHOP and Theraplay.  First available evaluations are a month and a half out and I didn't even want to know how long until therapy could start after that.  So I made the appointments and then checked out Amazon and ordered a cleft affected speech disorder textbook.  I'm at a complete loss for what else to do.

Fortunately Anna is SUCH A JOY that this is just an undercurrent in our lives right now.  She undresses herself and at nap and bedtime and then repeats "uh oh" over and over until we go in and redress her.  She loves baby dolls and giving them bottles.  She dances and jumps and is experiencing sounds like never before on account of the ear tubes.  She bangs on the piano when her big sister is practicing so she gets chased.  She is just a wonderfully typical 2 1/2 year old with wonderfully age appropriate behaviors.  I never have been so happy to have a child tantrum!

Thank you for your prayers for her fistula to be healed.  If you know of any speech therapy options please pass them onto us.   

Recovery...

...is not going so well.  I'm so exhausted from this I made the decision on Friday to ditch the elbow restraints when she is in bed without consulting the surgeon.  She NEEDS to sleep and couldn't with them on.  And I mean really couldn't.  Most nights she wasn't falling asleep until the wee hours and some nights was waking up in the wee hours, unable to go back to sleep.  The hours she was asleep she was still very restless.  Most naps were no more than an hour.  The time that she is not able to sleep is spent screaming.  Just by her so far.  Not me yet.  All her screaming and lack of sleep cannot be conducive to healing.  She is also managing to get her hands in her mouth with the arm restraints on anyway.  She only puts her hands in her mouth when she is upset.  The elbow restraints make her upset so to me it is logical to keep them off.   

Her repair looked beautiful especially after the stitches had dissolved.  Gradually though we noticed it looking like it was being "sucked up" into the cleft.  No fistulas (holes) though.  On Saturday she was eating yogurt and some came out her nose.  Sign of a fistula.  We didn't want to believe it so checked and there was a anterior fistula along the indentation.  I cried.  I always said that a fistula is going to happen if it is going to happen: Outside of preventing trauma to the site, there is nothing you can do.  I still felt that there was something we could have done or not done to keep this from happening.  Maybe ditched the elbow restraints sooner?  We see the surgeon on the 21st and are of course anxious to hear what she suggests.  I suspect she will want to wait and see if it impacts Anna's speech and to what extent.  Some kids have them and are able to speak fine.  We are still so disappointed for her.  

She is drinking and eating pretty well.  She is still not back to where she was with eating but I think there may be some teething going on which would impact this.  

So Many Hands

Thursday was the big day.  Anna's palate repair.  I hope I can convey the scope of thoughts and emotions that came with this but I doubt I will be able to fully.  Going into it there were so many fears: Fears of loosing her to the anesthesia were heightened because we had no medical history, fears of a difficult repair, fears of the recovery, fears that she would develop a distrust of us...  And on the flip side there was this opportunity for a full and complete life she would not have without the repair.  We were at CHOP at 7:15 AM and were promptly wisked back to pre-op.  She cried (as she always does) when her vitals were taken but stopped quickly.  There was an issue with ENT not being scheduled to insert the ear tubes but our nurse got it straightened out and the necessary paperwork completed.  She was given a "giggle juice" cocktail (versed for those of you who care :)) and had us laughing SO hard.  Our now dopey Anna had not one care or concern.  That and the professionalism and empathy of every single person we came in contact with while in pre-op made it so much easier to give her a kiss and say good-bye.  

She was out of surgery around 12:30 and very angry.  Daddy got her to sleep the way only he can.  Another dose of morphine helped too.  She had a lot of gurgling (swallowing was now different) and soon after slipping into a deep sleep would stop breathing momentarily (breathing was now different).  She plays with hair to comfort herself but couldn't do that well now on account of the elbow restraints which are necessary so she doesn't put her hands in her mouth and rip out stitches. 

 To close her palate, two lateral incisions were made on either side of the cleft and then the cleft was sutured together.  While her palate was moderately wide, her mouth is very small.  The combination didn't make it the easiest repair for the surgeon but she said all went very well.  Her palate appears to be normal in length which is important for proper speech and avoiding future surgeries.  After being in recovery for about an hour, Anna was admitted to the surgical floor.  It was a long afternoon and evening.  There was a lot of difficulty controlling her pain.  She was gurgling and choking and would stop breathing momentarily.  It had to feel like she was drowning.  Her eyes conveyed so much raw fear and physical pain.  I will never forget that look.  She couldn't sleep because of all of this but was completely exhausted.  I kept telling her how strong she was, that she was going to get through this.  She eventually ended up sleeping for about 30 minutes after which her heart rate was lower and she was much more calm.  Her brothers and sister came for a visit and brought balloons.  She gave a small reaction that she was happy to see both.  Matt stayed with her overnight and I brought the other three home.

 

We were fully expecting to have to stay another night and her surgeon suspected this as well.  Anna couldn't leave until she was drinking and eating, and due to the pain she wasn't interested in either.  She slept for hour and two hour increments through the night.  Not much but enough that she was doing much, much better than just 12 hours prior.  Her surgeon sat with us for a bit in the afternoon and watched Anna down a yogurt and get mad that she couldn't hold her bottle herself.  Even though Anna had not drank much more than an ounce total, her surgeon thought she would be fine to go home!  Shortly after she left though the surgical resident came and checked in and encouraged us to stay another night if we didn't feel comfortable taking her home yet as dehydration is a main reason palate repairs return to the hospital.  I said, no, we'll be fine.  Should have checked with Matt first though as I was evidently feeling much more confident than him.  We ended up choosing to be discharged anyway (by none other than Kara Detweiler!!!).  It was a good choice.  After we got her through a SERIOUS constipation issue in the comfort of her own home (sorry - need it in here for the record) she slept great through the night and was eating and drinking fine today.  

 

We were astounded at the number of people involved in her surgery and care.  Completely.  The amount of talent and professionalism present in those hands went above and beyond what we have yet experienced in the realm of medical care.  I looked around at options for her repair and am so thankful doors to other places simply did not open.    

Three Months Home

We had a follow up IA appointment at CHOP on January 20.  Anna has made HUGE measurable strides, the biggest being in fine motor where she gained 10 months in the 3 months home.  The best news though was that the DR and OT were amazed at how well attached she appeared.  I attribute this to lots of unconditional love, just as much prayer, seriously good OT and her foster Nai Nai. 

She is learning as many signs as we can teach her.  Her hearing loss is starting to become an issue as words are becoming increasingly misunderstood (chair, hair; try, cry; etc.).  She is showing us an eager to please, fun loving personality.  In the below video you can see the two year old testing too.  She is signing "sit down" when she sees me watching her.  She signs and sounds "thank you" when she makes up her mind to do what I'm telling her to, rather then when she actually does it.  She does this all the time and I find it hilarious.  Don't mind that I let her play up on the coffee table.  I'm thrilled that she is able to get up and down on her own. 

 

Six Weeks Home

Sorry the update took a bit longer than the weekend :).  It took two weeks home of adjusting to the time change.  During those two weeks Anna was starting her day between 1 and 3 AM and would go strong until after lunch.  I had to wake her from her afternoon nap and she was typically not at all happy about it.  Those meals some of you provided were soooooo appreciated through those days.  She was extremely withdrawn and reserved during those first two weeks also.  At bedtime and naptime however she would rage for at least an hour before she fell asleep while being held.  Our other three were beyond thrilled to just have us and her home.  Thank you Jesus for that because there really would have been nothing left of me to give if they were in need.  Natalie especially just sat by Anna and waited for her to be ready.  We had never seen our big girl so patient but yet persistent.  Those first two weeks were truly brutal.  We knew it would be but I don't think anything could have fully prepared us on how to contain her grief and fear, support our other three, integrate her into the family, process all the depressing developmental assesments, catch up on work and bills and unpack on VERY limited sleep. 

Two days home.  They still will do anything to make her smile!

By the end of the third week home (first week in November) we were seeing a bit more of the Anna we saw in China and her days and nights were straightened out.  She was raging less, if at all, before going to sleep and was cuddling more when being rocked. 

No longer content running after the ball.  She wants her own stick too! 

The last three weeks have held the excitement of meeting with a CHOP plastic surgeon and envisioning her life with a repaired palate, teaching her some basic sign language and watching her go overboard on communicating, seeing our other three making up silly sentences using just their limited sign vocab and experiencing a much more relaxed, regulated and connected Anna.  Many days the hours are longer than the days themselves but we really are slowly progressing.  Some things I am looking forward to...  A second cleft repair opinion although her surgery is scheduled for February 3 at CHOP, expanding her signing vocabulary, starting a Mommy and Me gymnastics class (because we just need to do something fun together!), putting on her new Christmas dress and getting photos taken, watching her open Christmas presents, having her molars cut through (grrrrr...), reading through an entire book with her. 

Play Doh play is stressful but necessary.  Holding her doll helps her cope. 

Heading Home!!!

Anna is tucked in, all is packed and Matt is checking us out of the hotel.  Tomorrow we leave here at 5:45 AM for an 8 AM flight to Beijing.  We depart Beijing at 3:45 PM and arrive in Newark at 5:15 PM (add in 12 hours for the time change).  We are SO excited to get home that there is almost no dread in traveling that long with a 2 year old!  Almost :).  THANK YOU to all of you who commented and sent us emails through our time here.  That support and our faithful God kept us focused.  Each and every correspondence was saved and will be part of Anna's story!  I plan to update upon returning home and say a bit more about our time here so check back after the weekend.   

Happenings Update

Yesterday we made it to the jade and pearl markets.  Aron told us that much of the jade for sale is fake but looks very real.  There was one store in particular that she likes because of the owner's history in the jade market and the store's certification level.  It was a lot of fun looking through the different grades of jade and figuring out which look I liked best.  Watching Aron negotiate the best price for us was a highlight too.  She is so kind and fun but I'm sure glad she is on my side!  The masses of people continue to leave an impression on us.  The landscape is one apartment building after another.  We look out our hotel window and see cranes everywhere building higher and higher.  The population in the immediate city of Guangzhou is over 10.3 million and it is only China's third largest city.  To compare, Philadelphia's city population is 1.54 million.  As is our custom, Matt got an ice cream treat for enduring shopping.  Anna seemed herself again (as far as we could tell) and Matt was much, much better so we opted to go on the dinner cruise.  There were two other adoptive families on the cruise that we were familiar with and had a great time talking with them.  The one family is currently living in Shanghai and the other is from Texas.  The Texas family adopted a now 14 year old boy who is deaf and mute.  They were in a race to finish the paperwork and complete the provincial side of his adoption before he turned 14 because in China after age 14 a child is ineligible to be adopted.  This boy was such joy and his family so amazing that we couldn't stop watching them.  They were ordinary people but truly living an extraordinary life.  Oh yeah, seeing the lights of the city was neat too :).  

Today we had our Consulate Appointment and completed the final step in obtaining Anna's visa to enter the US.  Aron treated us to dinner at the Guangzhou Restaurant and it was by far the best food we have had since we have been here!  She is originally from Inner Mongolia and therefore has a taste for food that is very similar to ours.  BIG relief since she was treating and therefore ordering.  In China food is ordered and served family style.  It is considered cold and rude if you order your own platter.  The most "interesting" dish she told us about was Tiger and Dragon Fight.  Use your imagination and ask us later if you are right.  It was equally wonderful to have an extended period of time to talk with her.  

Tomorrow we are picking up some last minute souvenirs and packing for HOME!!!  Friday is almost here!!!!!

Getting Better

Last night Matt and Anna (and thus myself) slept much better.  Anna needed yet another dose of ibuprofen at 11:15 PM but was ok with just Tylenol this AM.  She is napping now.  If she seems ok we are going to go to the jade and pearl markets this afternoon but are prepared to cancel last minute.  This evening we are scheduled for a dinner cruise down the Pearl River.  We are prepared to cancel that last minute as well.  Matt too was feeling a lot better today and is also napping now.  After breakfast we did some quick gift and souvenir shopping around the hotel and got some squeaky shoes for Anna.  Most of the babies and toddlers we have seen have them on.  They have little squeakers in the heal so when the child or baby walks they squeak.  Like light up shoes with squeakers instead of lights.  Matt said "no way" to them until the sales lady showed him he could take out the squeaker. 

Sick

We had Anna's TB test read this AM and whoo-hoo it was negative!  That is about it for good news today.  Matt and Anna are both sick.  They both had a fever and just enough congestion that they were awake from about 2:30 on (which means me too :)).  Anna's was a bit scary because it took both ibuprofen and Tylenol to bring it down to 100.6.  Matt's headache is so intense that it is making him vomit.  Aron took us to our hotel's DR and after an exam he diagnosed them both as having a strep infection.  He prescribed antibiotics and a more traditional Chinese remedy for both.  Anna cried tears when watching Matt get examined.  I think she was worried for him!  At least we aren't looking at the 26+ hours of travel tomorrow.  Aron said that families frequently get sick in Guangzhou because they were running on adrenaline while in province and then when they get to Guangzhou they relax a bit and it hits them.  Please say a prayer for both of them.  Matt never gets sick so this is difficult for him to deal with in itself.  And poor Anna.  She is tired, feeling terrible and has to endure us trying to figure out what she needs.   

One Hand

Today we are down to one hand as we count down to returning home.  Its a big deal.  To us anyway.  Our kids at home are having a tremendous amount of fun.  One of the "good-bye" presents we gave them was a journal that they could write us a note or draw us a picture in when they really missed us.  Two days ago we were skyping Tim and he said that he wished we were home with Anna.  We said we did too and that it would be soon.  I added that he could write us a note or draw us a picture in his journal.  He clarified that he wished we were all home but didn't really miss us.  Ouch.  But then again that is what we wanted.  I think what he meant was that he didn't miss us enough to write in his journal (he doesn't especially care for writing).  They have a note from us everyday and a present almost everyday.  They only get presents at birthdays and Christmas so this was a HUGE deal.  Natalie gets lots of Qubo time at Nana's and serious craft activities at Mom-mom's, Elias just had a sleepover at Trevor's and Tim has Uncle Jonny all to himself at some of his baseball games.  And that is just a fraction of their highlights.  Their lives are NEVER this full and exciting.  Thank you to all of you who have cared for them, prayed for them and made their days special while we have been gone!!!  You have played a vital role in us bringing Anna home.

Out the door to Mom-mom & Pappy's with their bags of presents and notes. 

A great friend and a pile of sand.  Life just could not be any better for him at this moment.

And on the China front...  Anna was exhausted last night.  She was very mellow this morning and I thought felt warm to the touch so she got more ibuprofen.  Tonight her temp started rising at as the ibuprofen was wearing off.  We gave her more but she was still cranky and went to bed early.  We are praying her little body does what it needs to do with all those vaccines and isn't too stressed over them.  The great news is that her TB test looks fine.  That means we won't have to go through x-rays or deal with the threat of an additional two weeks here.  Today we went to a botanical garden that was amazing.  A greenhouse full of orchids and roses all over.  It took me to a very happy place.  Afterwards we stopped at a Carrefour (like a Wal Mart) for a few items.  We almost bought a broken bottle of wine there from Anna somehow grabbing the neck and then dropping it.  Matt caught it before it hit the floor!  Our guide surprised us by treating us to lunch.  We typically go without a real lunch so we were thrilled!  Its also very nice to have your guide with you so they can tell you what is spicy, suggest what is good and inform you of what the meat really is.  We had pigeon today.  We left the head on the plate though :).  Ms. Li, the China rep for Welcome House, called our guide this morning and asked her to take us out to lunch on Ms. Li's tab.  The biggest disappointment of our trip here is that we do not get to meet Ms. Li.  We have SO much to thank her for and she has been a mother hen while we have been here.  That support goes a long way in helping you stay strong when everything is so unfamiliar.    

Guangzhou

We arrived in Guangzhou yesterday at noon.  Here we complete the US side of her adoption and obtain her visa so she can enter the US.  Anna did beyond fabulous on the trip here.  Before takeoff they gave her a little book and that kept her occupied for almost the entire hour flight.  We think it was the new toy thing.  Our guide in Guangzhou is Aron.  Her English is tremendous and she is very personable.

In Nanning airport.  She spent over an hour dripping water from her bottle into the lid and then drinking the drops out of the lid. 

She thought she was SO COOL in her purple sparkly butterfly sunglasses!

Anna had her visa photo taken this morning followed by the dreaded medical exam.  She howled through every exam and the shots.  She was required to get a total of 6 shots (10 vaccines) and a TB test.  There is a US law that requires any Hague convention adoptee to be fully immunized according to CDC childhood immunization requirements.  In theory it sounds good but when put into practice you have physically and emotionally fragile children being forced to endure all those sticks while the people who they are trying to learn to trust, hold them down.  Its a given that these children are going to be on different vaccination schedule, if any at all, so of course they are going to need a tremendous amount to "catch up" to the US schedule for their age.  Its just ridiculous that we would not be allowed to do this through her primary care doctor upon returning home.  Fortunately however, (yet another "Thank you God!" moment) Anna did not seem to have any anger towards us for the shots and was laughing and giggling when we were back in the hotel room.  She was very tired tonight.  It was hard to pick her up or hold her without touching or bumping a shot site.  I think she is going to be hurting tomorrow. 

On a more pleasant note...  Happy Birthday to my dad today!!! 

Last Day in Nanning

We really can hardly believe this is our last full day in Nanning!  We leave the hotel tomorrow at 8:30 AM for an 11 AM flight to Guangzhou.  We have an odd mix of nervousness and relief about moving on.  We spent the morning at the Green Hill Mountain park.  We toured a Buddhist temple and a Taoist pagoda there and fed the fish.  

Buddhist temple with incense in front.

Taoist Pagoda

From the top of the pagoda.  Bridge was built over river to expand Nanning city.

Expansion of Nanning.  The picture doesn't convey the massiveness of this. 

Itty bitty yet powerful jasmine flowers.  Mary said they are also called 9 mile flowers due to the strength of their scent.  

 

Precious!

For her nap today Anna went down, in her crib without any screaming or needing to be held!!!  We did the stern voice thing and kept her laying down.  She drifted off with her butterfly friend under her head, her doll in her arms and zero anxiety.  Wow!!! 

Sleeping and Eating

Naptime today was the same as yesterday: Screamed herself to sleep in Matt's arms.  Last night she was able to fall asleep in her crib with Matt rubbing her belly.  Tonight she went to sleep without any screaming!  She worked HARD to keep herself awake too.  Threw everything out of the bed, undressed herself completely, sang, babbled, screeched, etc.  What seemed to keep her from getting upset was telling her in a stern voice that it was time for bed - lay down, no throw - lay down, keep clothes on - lay down and so on.  The way she flops onto her bed and lays there perfectly still for quite a few minutes as soon as she catches a glimpse of one of us coming over, makes us wonder if she didn't have lots of experience with playing in her crib and as well as being reprimanded for doing so.  We think there is something she is processing but we will take the screaming reprieve for tonight and keep trying until we find what works or until she has made sense of what she needs to work out. 

Food seems to be a big question for some so here it is.  Breakfast is at our hotel and we eat a mixture of Chinese (fried rice noodles, fried vegetables, steamed buns, fruit and really whatever else we are adventurous enough to try) and Western (eggs and toast).  Lunch is in our hotel room over Scrabble while Anna sleeps.  The yogurt is from the market across the street and is so good I don't want to know how much sugar is in it or if it isn't pasteurized.  Matt's puffed wheat bars are also from that market and he says they are edible when dunked in coffee.  The Kit Kat bars are the hotel's previous night hand out and the remainder is from home.  We are thankful for a big breakfast :).  Dinner is out somewhere.  One of our favorite places is adjacent to our hotel.  They have very good food for super cheap and a very large selection.  Pictures and words in English are a huge plus as well.  Its work to place our order though because you order many different things and each dish is ordered through a different window.  There is one chef who has very good English and is kind enough to walk through with me and put our order in at the various windows.  He wasn't there tonight so I found a waitress with a "trainee" badge and convinced her to walk with me and decipher my gestures and sign language.  She did a good job and had a great sense of humor with it all.  I'm sure it gave her something to talk about later.  Tonight we had vegetable pancake, boiled broccoli, beef and boiled noodles and beef and green peppers with rice. 

Breakfast

Lunch

Our favorite Chinese diner-type restaurant.

Today

Honeymoon is officially over.  Today Anna woke up angry and vacillated between an unsettledness and rage.  Naptime was by far the worst part of the day.  She eventually screamed herself to sleep in Matt's arms.  On the positive side, she continues reaching for us to hold her and seems to be feeling better over the past two hours.  We are working on teaching her to use a transitional object to comfort herself.  Right now she does this thing with her cleft and her hair that Matt has termed "lick 'n stick".  Aside from being gross, it doesn't seem to be doing much for her.  We have a butterfly friend and doll that we are showing her how to cuddle.  She seems to have taken naturally to her socks however.  If the butterfly friend or doll aren't warmly received, we will be fine with socks. 

Navigating in Nanning

We think we finally have a handle on this. 

Rule #1 - Don't stop.  Matt almost caused a chain reaction crashing of motorbikes yesterday because he stopped to let one go in front of him.  It seems like others anticipate your movement and base their route on that.  A bit different from us not even trusting blinkers.

Rule #2 - Patience.  NO ONE gets irritated.  You will be cut off, horns will be honked and lights, signs and road markings will not be followed: No big deal. 

Rule #3 - The larger vehicle is always at fault.  If bus and car collide, it is bus's fault.  If car and motorbike collide, it is car's fault.  If motorbike and pedestrian collide, it is motorbike's fault.  We heard this and think it has to be true, otherwise there is no way so many motorbikes could share lanes with cars and buses the way they do.  

Rule #4 - When the light isn't changing fast enough for you, say that it is broken and proceed as you would like.  Matt especially liked this one. 

Rule #5 - When crossing the street take one lane at a time.  Yes, you have just inches between you and cars moving past you on both sides, but when in China...

And Another Gift

Today was a free day which means nothing was planned for us.  Tomorrow is a free day too.  We have a number of free days since we have to stay in Nanning 7 extra days due to China's National Day holiday from October 1-7 (it was either this or wait until the end of November, beginning of December to travel).  We are shopping around for a stroller for Anna since she greatly prefers that over the front pack.  We are renting one from the hotel right now but feel like we need one for Guangzhou and especially at the airports.  After breakfast we walked to the Wal Mart shopping center and then explored more of Nanning on the way back.  When we were at the intersection opposite the hotel I took a few minutes to shoot some video of the traffic because that is what I thought I was going to blog about today.  While we were standing there a man walked past us and stared.  Nothing unusual but then he immediately turned around and was really looking at and talking to Anna.  There was something about his face that was different.  It was not the hard, stern stare that we were accustomed to.  He started talking to us and we noticed that he was missing his right forearm and his left hand was clefted.  He said he was looking for a couple from England who had adopted a child and were staying at the Magestic (the hotel we are staying at).  He said the foster mother wanted a picture of the child and her family but the orphanage did not give her a picture.  He said she missed the child very much and called him insisting he locate the family and get a picture for her.  I assumed he was talking about a couple and their child that left soon after we arrived.  I wanted his information though because that morning over breakfast Matt and I had a conversation about how we could go about sending updated pictures of Anna to her foster mother and who we should and shouldn't ask about doing so.  Even though I think this gentleman was more interested in me passing on his info to the couple he was looking for, he gave me his card and said he was with Grace & Hope for Children.  He then said the husband's name was Matthew Wade.  Due to our paranoia (a future post) we did pause before admitting that was Matt.  He walked back to the hotel with us and we had conversations and were allowed observations that were nothing short than a gift from God.  God has given us SO much in this process and with Anna and now this.  It is completely humbling that He would continue to give more than we could ask or imagine.

The past few days I have been wrestling with the "rightness" of taking Anna away from a foster mom that loved her, a foster family that was home to her and out of her birth country.  I think I'm looking for a framework to operate from so that I can pass on her story to her with as much truth and compassion as possible.  Anyway, I asked Mary what Anna's future would look like if she would stay in China.  If her palate would be repaired, if she would be taught how to speak, if she would go to school, if she would be able to get a good job...  Mary said "oh yes" to all of them.  She even went onto say that if someone is disabled the government provides them with an "easy" job.  None of this aligns with what I have heard prior to coming here but I think Mary was sharing with me what she was told and truly believes.  Today I saw and heard the other side. 

While we were standing outside our hotel with this gentleman many people were coming and going.  We had the opportunity to see their eyes on him and their expressions.  When asked to take a picture of all of us, we saw a woman scared to take the camera from his hand and tell a boy next to her to do it and take the picture.  We heard what it is like to look for a job in China when it is considered that you have a disability.  We watched this man and he not one bit disabled!  We told him his English was very good and he shyly thanked us and told us that he learned on his own.  He did not go to University because he grew up in the orphanage.  He told us of him and his wife adopting a child with a similar condition to his and how upset his wife's parents and his brothers and sister were that they had done so because they are only allowed one child (due to China's one child policy).  

He told us that Grace & Hope for Children had sponsored Anna's lip repair AND foster care.  (When meeting Anna we asked who paid for her lip repair and were told that China had done so.)  He said it is important for cleft children to have their lips repaired before they go into foster care because the foster mother can be scared by the appearance of the clefted lip.  He said that due to the foster mother's age, Anna was most likely her last foster child.  He said that the foster mother's grandson would tease Anna and make her cry.  We gave a "Thank You" note and pictures from one of her photo books to pass onto her (although he said it will be difficult to get them to her - electronic is much easier).  He took lots of pictures including some with Anna playing with the gifts that her foster mom gave to her.  He seemed annoyed over her bald and thin spots and said that the foster mothers think that if they hold the babies too much they will get spoiled so they let them in their cribs for too long.  He said he tells them different but they don't always listen.  We affirmed that we thought Anna was very well cared for and loved.  

We are so incredibly grateful for this charity and those who support it!  Grace & Hope for Children.  www.grace-hope.org  The man we met today is Paul Huang. 

Happy Birthday Anna!!!!!

2 years old today!!!  Our hotel gave the gift of a beautiful and delicious birthday cake and Welcome House is treating us and Mary to dinner tonight.  Anna was so excited over her cake she grabbed a fistful of icing while we were coaxing her to blow out the candles.  After she was cleaned up she had a whole piece and wanted more.  Timothy, Elias, Natalie and Nana & Pop-pop (and whoever else is at their home :)) are celebrating with a Dairy Queen cake.   

 

This morning we had a tour of the countryside and a village.  It was less than an hour drive.  The city just sort of stops and the country starts.  It was quiet and beautiful and we heard birds for the first time since we have been here.  Mary said the people in the country are healthier than the people in the city and probably happier too.  

I will never complain about doing laundry again.