Today

Honeymoon is officially over.  Today Anna woke up angry and vacillated between an unsettledness and rage.  Naptime was by far the worst part of the day.  She eventually screamed herself to sleep in Matt's arms.  On the positive side, she continues reaching for us to hold her and seems to be feeling better over the past two hours.  We are working on teaching her to use a transitional object to comfort herself.  Right now she does this thing with her cleft and her hair that Matt has termed "lick 'n stick".  Aside from being gross, it doesn't seem to be doing much for her.  We have a butterfly friend and doll that we are showing her how to cuddle.  She seems to have taken naturally to her socks however.  If the butterfly friend or doll aren't warmly received, we will be fine with socks. 

Navigating in Nanning

We think we finally have a handle on this. 

Rule #1 - Don't stop.  Matt almost caused a chain reaction crashing of motorbikes yesterday because he stopped to let one go in front of him.  It seems like others anticipate your movement and base their route on that.  A bit different from us not even trusting blinkers.

Rule #2 - Patience.  NO ONE gets irritated.  You will be cut off, horns will be honked and lights, signs and road markings will not be followed: No big deal. 

Rule #3 - The larger vehicle is always at fault.  If bus and car collide, it is bus's fault.  If car and motorbike collide, it is car's fault.  If motorbike and pedestrian collide, it is motorbike's fault.  We heard this and think it has to be true, otherwise there is no way so many motorbikes could share lanes with cars and buses the way they do.  

Rule #4 - When the light isn't changing fast enough for you, say that it is broken and proceed as you would like.  Matt especially liked this one. 

Rule #5 - When crossing the street take one lane at a time.  Yes, you have just inches between you and cars moving past you on both sides, but when in China...

And Another Gift

Today was a free day which means nothing was planned for us.  Tomorrow is a free day too.  We have a number of free days since we have to stay in Nanning 7 extra days due to China's National Day holiday from October 1-7 (it was either this or wait until the end of November, beginning of December to travel).  We are shopping around for a stroller for Anna since she greatly prefers that over the front pack.  We are renting one from the hotel right now but feel like we need one for Guangzhou and especially at the airports.  After breakfast we walked to the Wal Mart shopping center and then explored more of Nanning on the way back.  When we were at the intersection opposite the hotel I took a few minutes to shoot some video of the traffic because that is what I thought I was going to blog about today.  While we were standing there a man walked past us and stared.  Nothing unusual but then he immediately turned around and was really looking at and talking to Anna.  There was something about his face that was different.  It was not the hard, stern stare that we were accustomed to.  He started talking to us and we noticed that he was missing his right forearm and his left hand was clefted.  He said he was looking for a couple from England who had adopted a child and were staying at the Magestic (the hotel we are staying at).  He said the foster mother wanted a picture of the child and her family but the orphanage did not give her a picture.  He said she missed the child very much and called him insisting he locate the family and get a picture for her.  I assumed he was talking about a couple and their child that left soon after we arrived.  I wanted his information though because that morning over breakfast Matt and I had a conversation about how we could go about sending updated pictures of Anna to her foster mother and who we should and shouldn't ask about doing so.  Even though I think this gentleman was more interested in me passing on his info to the couple he was looking for, he gave me his card and said he was with Grace & Hope for Children.  He then said the husband's name was Matthew Wade.  Due to our paranoia (a future post) we did pause before admitting that was Matt.  He walked back to the hotel with us and we had conversations and were allowed observations that were nothing short than a gift from God.  God has given us SO much in this process and with Anna and now this.  It is completely humbling that He would continue to give more than we could ask or imagine.

The past few days I have been wrestling with the "rightness" of taking Anna away from a foster mom that loved her, a foster family that was home to her and out of her birth country.  I think I'm looking for a framework to operate from so that I can pass on her story to her with as much truth and compassion as possible.  Anyway, I asked Mary what Anna's future would look like if she would stay in China.  If her palate would be repaired, if she would be taught how to speak, if she would go to school, if she would be able to get a good job...  Mary said "oh yes" to all of them.  She even went onto say that if someone is disabled the government provides them with an "easy" job.  None of this aligns with what I have heard prior to coming here but I think Mary was sharing with me what she was told and truly believes.  Today I saw and heard the other side. 

While we were standing outside our hotel with this gentleman many people were coming and going.  We had the opportunity to see their eyes on him and their expressions.  When asked to take a picture of all of us, we saw a woman scared to take the camera from his hand and tell a boy next to her to do it and take the picture.  We heard what it is like to look for a job in China when it is considered that you have a disability.  We watched this man and he not one bit disabled!  We told him his English was very good and he shyly thanked us and told us that he learned on his own.  He did not go to University because he grew up in the orphanage.  He told us of him and his wife adopting a child with a similar condition to his and how upset his wife's parents and his brothers and sister were that they had done so because they are only allowed one child (due to China's one child policy).  

He told us that Grace & Hope for Children had sponsored Anna's lip repair AND foster care.  (When meeting Anna we asked who paid for her lip repair and were told that China had done so.)  He said it is important for cleft children to have their lips repaired before they go into foster care because the foster mother can be scared by the appearance of the clefted lip.  He said that due to the foster mother's age, Anna was most likely her last foster child.  He said that the foster mother's grandson would tease Anna and make her cry.  We gave a "Thank You" note and pictures from one of her photo books to pass onto her (although he said it will be difficult to get them to her - electronic is much easier).  He took lots of pictures including some with Anna playing with the gifts that her foster mom gave to her.  He seemed annoyed over her bald and thin spots and said that the foster mothers think that if they hold the babies too much they will get spoiled so they let them in their cribs for too long.  He said he tells them different but they don't always listen.  We affirmed that we thought Anna was very well cared for and loved.  

We are so incredibly grateful for this charity and those who support it!  Grace & Hope for Children.  www.grace-hope.org  The man we met today is Paul Huang. 

Happy Birthday Anna!!!!!

2 years old today!!!  Our hotel gave the gift of a beautiful and delicious birthday cake and Welcome House is treating us and Mary to dinner tonight.  Anna was so excited over her cake she grabbed a fistful of icing while we were coaxing her to blow out the candles.  After she was cleaned up she had a whole piece and wanted more.  Timothy, Elias, Natalie and Nana & Pop-pop (and whoever else is at their home :)) are celebrating with a Dairy Queen cake.   

 

This morning we had a tour of the countryside and a village.  It was less than an hour drive.  The city just sort of stops and the country starts.  It was quiet and beautiful and we heard birds for the first time since we have been here.  Mary said the people in the country are healthier than the people in the city and probably happier too.  

I will never complain about doing laundry again. 

Dinner

Tonight at dinner Anna actually ate some Cheerios instead of feeding them to us.  Other highlights on the video, besides Matt's chopstick talent, is Matt trying to get her to say "ba ba" which is "daddy" in Mandarin and all she will say is "ma ma" :).

New Parent Stuff

I horrified our dear guide the other day when I told her that in America we have our children in diapers until about age three.  Anna came to us China potty trained and Mary is working very hard with us to understand it.  We see babies being carried and toddler aged children with split pants: The pants are open down the backside and nada is on underneath.  Every hour or two they are squatted over a potty (which is a hole in the floor) or sat on a child's squat pot.  They stay there until they go.  We cannot fathom the patience that must be involved in stopping what you are doing every hour or two to help them squat and also make sure they stay there until they go.  The day Anna came to us we went to the market and bought her a child's squat pot for just a few bucks.  It was obvious she knew what it was for.  It was also obvious she was good at testing if she really had to sit there.  She sat down fine but would make eye contact and stand up.  We would move toward her and she would plop back down.  Mary said sometimes children have to be held down with force until they go but Chinese have strong backs so it is ok.  I think we will manage without the restraint :).  We still have diapers on her since we are rookies at this China potty training.  She will only wet them while sleeping or if she has a chance to get in the squat position.  When we were at the park yesterday Mary said it is ok for children to squat next to a tree if they have to go.  Mental note made to absolutely go around ALL puddles.  We would have an audience if they saw us maneuver taking off her diaper cover and diaper without letting her get into a squat position.

Last night Anna had ice cream.  We suspect it was the first time with as big as her eyes got.  She wanted more and more.  She cried lots of tears yesterday when it was time to leave our room to go to supper.  Usually we tell her it is time to go bye-bye and she is so excited to get her socks and shoes on and go.  Yesterday though something went off inside of her and we have no idea what caused it.  We think it was teething related but of course wonder if there was something more.  Time will tell.  Please continue to pray for her and this immense transition. 

People's Park

Little girl is sleeping extra long for her nap so I had a chance to download and now upload some more pics and video.  Today we had an "official" tour of the People's Park.  We went yesterday on our own after breakfast out of desperation to establish some sort of routine.  The park is very close to our hotel and we don't have to cross the street to get there.  (More on the traffic here in another post.)  It is a wonderful place.  There is grass and we even caught a glimpse of some butterflies and dragonflies.  (Are we sounding a little homesick?)  Matt thought he saw a squirrel but it turned out to be a very large rat :).  It has an amusement park, lake, places of historical interest and lots and lots of walking paths.  There are many retired men and women who gather for ti chi, playing instruments, singing, playing games, etc.  In the lake there are tens of thousands of koi.  Our guide Mary told us that it is considered good luck to feed them so there is no fishing or catching of them allowed.  Good to know :).  In the amusement park there are stands where you can shoot a BB gun at a wall of balloons and if you pop a balloon you win a prize.  In China the citizens are not permitted guns of any type so we were laughing at the thought of Matt sitting down to do this and popping an entire line of balloons.  We were actually almost hysterical at this thought.  Matt said yesterday "people about break their necks" turning around to continue to stare at us after they walk past.  We were told by our agency that in China it is not considered to be rude to stare but wow, we didn't expect this much attention.  In defense of the Chinese here in Nanning, we are not a common sight.  In the seven days we have been here we have seen exactly seven people who were not Chinese in appearance, and they were all in our hotel.  We have seen one woman with wavy hair and one little girl with wavy hair.  Zero with curly hair which I cannot pull back because I am then seemingly unrecognizable to Anna.  We have seen zero men with facial hair as well.  It is also so hot and humid here we are continuously drenched in sweat when out walking around and have yet to see a Nanning native sweating.  Add in us pushing around a Chinese child who insists on wearing an Old Navy baseball hat and holding a toddler spoon in her left hand with her arm completely extended.  I'd probably "about break my neck" too :).

Anna on her ride.

Our WONDERFUL guide Mary.

Flower nursery at the People's Park.  Those are ALL apartment buildings in the background. 

What we see when we go out: Anna's hat on, spoon in hand, arm extended and stares.