One Hand

Today we are down to one hand as we count down to returning home.  Its a big deal.  To us anyway.  Our kids at home are having a tremendous amount of fun.  One of the "good-bye" presents we gave them was a journal that they could write us a note or draw us a picture in when they really missed us.  Two days ago we were skyping Tim and he said that he wished we were home with Anna.  We said we did too and that it would be soon.  I added that he could write us a note or draw us a picture in his journal.  He clarified that he wished we were all home but didn't really miss us.  Ouch.  But then again that is what we wanted.  I think what he meant was that he didn't miss us enough to write in his journal (he doesn't especially care for writing).  They have a note from us everyday and a present almost everyday.  They only get presents at birthdays and Christmas so this was a HUGE deal.  Natalie gets lots of Qubo time at Nana's and serious craft activities at Mom-mom's, Elias just had a sleepover at Trevor's and Tim has Uncle Jonny all to himself at some of his baseball games.  And that is just a fraction of their highlights.  Their lives are NEVER this full and exciting.  Thank you to all of you who have cared for them, prayed for them and made their days special while we have been gone!!!  You have played a vital role in us bringing Anna home.

Out the door to Mom-mom & Pappy's with their bags of presents and notes. 

A great friend and a pile of sand.  Life just could not be any better for him at this moment.

And on the China front...  Anna was exhausted last night.  She was very mellow this morning and I thought felt warm to the touch so she got more ibuprofen.  Tonight her temp started rising at as the ibuprofen was wearing off.  We gave her more but she was still cranky and went to bed early.  We are praying her little body does what it needs to do with all those vaccines and isn't too stressed over them.  The great news is that her TB test looks fine.  That means we won't have to go through x-rays or deal with the threat of an additional two weeks here.  Today we went to a botanical garden that was amazing.  A greenhouse full of orchids and roses all over.  It took me to a very happy place.  Afterwards we stopped at a Carrefour (like a Wal Mart) for a few items.  We almost bought a broken bottle of wine there from Anna somehow grabbing the neck and then dropping it.  Matt caught it before it hit the floor!  Our guide surprised us by treating us to lunch.  We typically go without a real lunch so we were thrilled!  Its also very nice to have your guide with you so they can tell you what is spicy, suggest what is good and inform you of what the meat really is.  We had pigeon today.  We left the head on the plate though :).  Ms. Li, the China rep for Welcome House, called our guide this morning and asked her to take us out to lunch on Ms. Li's tab.  The biggest disappointment of our trip here is that we do not get to meet Ms. Li.  We have SO much to thank her for and she has been a mother hen while we have been here.  That support goes a long way in helping you stay strong when everything is so unfamiliar.    

Guangzhou

We arrived in Guangzhou yesterday at noon.  Here we complete the US side of her adoption and obtain her visa so she can enter the US.  Anna did beyond fabulous on the trip here.  Before takeoff they gave her a little book and that kept her occupied for almost the entire hour flight.  We think it was the new toy thing.  Our guide in Guangzhou is Aron.  Her English is tremendous and she is very personable.

In Nanning airport.  She spent over an hour dripping water from her bottle into the lid and then drinking the drops out of the lid. 

She thought she was SO COOL in her purple sparkly butterfly sunglasses!

Anna had her visa photo taken this morning followed by the dreaded medical exam.  She howled through every exam and the shots.  She was required to get a total of 6 shots (10 vaccines) and a TB test.  There is a US law that requires any Hague convention adoptee to be fully immunized according to CDC childhood immunization requirements.  In theory it sounds good but when put into practice you have physically and emotionally fragile children being forced to endure all those sticks while the people who they are trying to learn to trust, hold them down.  Its a given that these children are going to be on different vaccination schedule, if any at all, so of course they are going to need a tremendous amount to "catch up" to the US schedule for their age.  Its just ridiculous that we would not be allowed to do this through her primary care doctor upon returning home.  Fortunately however, (yet another "Thank you God!" moment) Anna did not seem to have any anger towards us for the shots and was laughing and giggling when we were back in the hotel room.  She was very tired tonight.  It was hard to pick her up or hold her without touching or bumping a shot site.  I think she is going to be hurting tomorrow. 

On a more pleasant note...  Happy Birthday to my dad today!!! 

Last Day in Nanning

We really can hardly believe this is our last full day in Nanning!  We leave the hotel tomorrow at 8:30 AM for an 11 AM flight to Guangzhou.  We have an odd mix of nervousness and relief about moving on.  We spent the morning at the Green Hill Mountain park.  We toured a Buddhist temple and a Taoist pagoda there and fed the fish.  

Buddhist temple with incense in front.

Taoist Pagoda

From the top of the pagoda.  Bridge was built over river to expand Nanning city.

Expansion of Nanning.  The picture doesn't convey the massiveness of this. 

Itty bitty yet powerful jasmine flowers.  Mary said they are also called 9 mile flowers due to the strength of their scent.  

 

Precious!

For her nap today Anna went down, in her crib without any screaming or needing to be held!!!  We did the stern voice thing and kept her laying down.  She drifted off with her butterfly friend under her head, her doll in her arms and zero anxiety.  Wow!!! 

Sleeping and Eating

Naptime today was the same as yesterday: Screamed herself to sleep in Matt's arms.  Last night she was able to fall asleep in her crib with Matt rubbing her belly.  Tonight she went to sleep without any screaming!  She worked HARD to keep herself awake too.  Threw everything out of the bed, undressed herself completely, sang, babbled, screeched, etc.  What seemed to keep her from getting upset was telling her in a stern voice that it was time for bed - lay down, no throw - lay down, keep clothes on - lay down and so on.  The way she flops onto her bed and lays there perfectly still for quite a few minutes as soon as she catches a glimpse of one of us coming over, makes us wonder if she didn't have lots of experience with playing in her crib and as well as being reprimanded for doing so.  We think there is something she is processing but we will take the screaming reprieve for tonight and keep trying until we find what works or until she has made sense of what she needs to work out. 

Food seems to be a big question for some so here it is.  Breakfast is at our hotel and we eat a mixture of Chinese (fried rice noodles, fried vegetables, steamed buns, fruit and really whatever else we are adventurous enough to try) and Western (eggs and toast).  Lunch is in our hotel room over Scrabble while Anna sleeps.  The yogurt is from the market across the street and is so good I don't want to know how much sugar is in it or if it isn't pasteurized.  Matt's puffed wheat bars are also from that market and he says they are edible when dunked in coffee.  The Kit Kat bars are the hotel's previous night hand out and the remainder is from home.  We are thankful for a big breakfast :).  Dinner is out somewhere.  One of our favorite places is adjacent to our hotel.  They have very good food for super cheap and a very large selection.  Pictures and words in English are a huge plus as well.  Its work to place our order though because you order many different things and each dish is ordered through a different window.  There is one chef who has very good English and is kind enough to walk through with me and put our order in at the various windows.  He wasn't there tonight so I found a waitress with a "trainee" badge and convinced her to walk with me and decipher my gestures and sign language.  She did a good job and had a great sense of humor with it all.  I'm sure it gave her something to talk about later.  Tonight we had vegetable pancake, boiled broccoli, beef and boiled noodles and beef and green peppers with rice. 

Breakfast

Lunch

Our favorite Chinese diner-type restaurant.

Today

Honeymoon is officially over.  Today Anna woke up angry and vacillated between an unsettledness and rage.  Naptime was by far the worst part of the day.  She eventually screamed herself to sleep in Matt's arms.  On the positive side, she continues reaching for us to hold her and seems to be feeling better over the past two hours.  We are working on teaching her to use a transitional object to comfort herself.  Right now she does this thing with her cleft and her hair that Matt has termed "lick 'n stick".  Aside from being gross, it doesn't seem to be doing much for her.  We have a butterfly friend and doll that we are showing her how to cuddle.  She seems to have taken naturally to her socks however.  If the butterfly friend or doll aren't warmly received, we will be fine with socks. 

Navigating in Nanning

We think we finally have a handle on this. 

Rule #1 - Don't stop.  Matt almost caused a chain reaction crashing of motorbikes yesterday because he stopped to let one go in front of him.  It seems like others anticipate your movement and base their route on that.  A bit different from us not even trusting blinkers.

Rule #2 - Patience.  NO ONE gets irritated.  You will be cut off, horns will be honked and lights, signs and road markings will not be followed: No big deal. 

Rule #3 - The larger vehicle is always at fault.  If bus and car collide, it is bus's fault.  If car and motorbike collide, it is car's fault.  If motorbike and pedestrian collide, it is motorbike's fault.  We heard this and think it has to be true, otherwise there is no way so many motorbikes could share lanes with cars and buses the way they do.  

Rule #4 - When the light isn't changing fast enough for you, say that it is broken and proceed as you would like.  Matt especially liked this one. 

Rule #5 - When crossing the street take one lane at a time.  Yes, you have just inches between you and cars moving past you on both sides, but when in China...

And Another Gift

Today was a free day which means nothing was planned for us.  Tomorrow is a free day too.  We have a number of free days since we have to stay in Nanning 7 extra days due to China's National Day holiday from October 1-7 (it was either this or wait until the end of November, beginning of December to travel).  We are shopping around for a stroller for Anna since she greatly prefers that over the front pack.  We are renting one from the hotel right now but feel like we need one for Guangzhou and especially at the airports.  After breakfast we walked to the Wal Mart shopping center and then explored more of Nanning on the way back.  When we were at the intersection opposite the hotel I took a few minutes to shoot some video of the traffic because that is what I thought I was going to blog about today.  While we were standing there a man walked past us and stared.  Nothing unusual but then he immediately turned around and was really looking at and talking to Anna.  There was something about his face that was different.  It was not the hard, stern stare that we were accustomed to.  He started talking to us and we noticed that he was missing his right forearm and his left hand was clefted.  He said he was looking for a couple from England who had adopted a child and were staying at the Magestic (the hotel we are staying at).  He said the foster mother wanted a picture of the child and her family but the orphanage did not give her a picture.  He said she missed the child very much and called him insisting he locate the family and get a picture for her.  I assumed he was talking about a couple and their child that left soon after we arrived.  I wanted his information though because that morning over breakfast Matt and I had a conversation about how we could go about sending updated pictures of Anna to her foster mother and who we should and shouldn't ask about doing so.  Even though I think this gentleman was more interested in me passing on his info to the couple he was looking for, he gave me his card and said he was with Grace & Hope for Children.  He then said the husband's name was Matthew Wade.  Due to our paranoia (a future post) we did pause before admitting that was Matt.  He walked back to the hotel with us and we had conversations and were allowed observations that were nothing short than a gift from God.  God has given us SO much in this process and with Anna and now this.  It is completely humbling that He would continue to give more than we could ask or imagine.

The past few days I have been wrestling with the "rightness" of taking Anna away from a foster mom that loved her, a foster family that was home to her and out of her birth country.  I think I'm looking for a framework to operate from so that I can pass on her story to her with as much truth and compassion as possible.  Anyway, I asked Mary what Anna's future would look like if she would stay in China.  If her palate would be repaired, if she would be taught how to speak, if she would go to school, if she would be able to get a good job...  Mary said "oh yes" to all of them.  She even went onto say that if someone is disabled the government provides them with an "easy" job.  None of this aligns with what I have heard prior to coming here but I think Mary was sharing with me what she was told and truly believes.  Today I saw and heard the other side. 

While we were standing outside our hotel with this gentleman many people were coming and going.  We had the opportunity to see their eyes on him and their expressions.  When asked to take a picture of all of us, we saw a woman scared to take the camera from his hand and tell a boy next to her to do it and take the picture.  We heard what it is like to look for a job in China when it is considered that you have a disability.  We watched this man and he not one bit disabled!  We told him his English was very good and he shyly thanked us and told us that he learned on his own.  He did not go to University because he grew up in the orphanage.  He told us of him and his wife adopting a child with a similar condition to his and how upset his wife's parents and his brothers and sister were that they had done so because they are only allowed one child (due to China's one child policy).  

He told us that Grace & Hope for Children had sponsored Anna's lip repair AND foster care.  (When meeting Anna we asked who paid for her lip repair and were told that China had done so.)  He said it is important for cleft children to have their lips repaired before they go into foster care because the foster mother can be scared by the appearance of the clefted lip.  He said that due to the foster mother's age, Anna was most likely her last foster child.  He said that the foster mother's grandson would tease Anna and make her cry.  We gave a "Thank You" note and pictures from one of her photo books to pass onto her (although he said it will be difficult to get them to her - electronic is much easier).  He took lots of pictures including some with Anna playing with the gifts that her foster mom gave to her.  He seemed annoyed over her bald and thin spots and said that the foster mothers think that if they hold the babies too much they will get spoiled so they let them in their cribs for too long.  He said he tells them different but they don't always listen.  We affirmed that we thought Anna was very well cared for and loved.  

We are so incredibly grateful for this charity and those who support it!  Grace & Hope for Children.  www.grace-hope.org  The man we met today is Paul Huang.